She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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