It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Randomize
