Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
