I accidentally had phone sex last night
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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