Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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