Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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