Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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