well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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