so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
