Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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