I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
