I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
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