hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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