i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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