There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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