So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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