their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
