I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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