For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
