i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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