you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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