youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
