He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
