i just had sex bonerless
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
