Are we in a gay sports bar?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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