if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
