Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
