i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
