the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
