So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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