so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
