so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He had one of those small greek statue penises
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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