Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
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