Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
