I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
