Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
