Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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