forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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