thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
You work out of a Hotel?
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
