How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm like, not good at living.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
