Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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