Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
