hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
