I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
