Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
