i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
