life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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