i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize