also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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