I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
