Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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