i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
