i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
