Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
