she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
