Apparently you make a good broom.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
