is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize