I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Randomize
