Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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