I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
The ass gains better be worth it
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