so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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