Sponge bath it is.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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