Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Randomize
