First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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