Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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